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Man Experiencing First Real Moment of Peace in Years Resuscitated

The Onion is so funny, because it is so true.

“Interrupting the only moment of genuine peace the man had known in several decades, a team of paramedics reportedly resuscitated area resident Alan Taborsky this morning following an apparent cardiac arrest.”

“Reports indicated that just as Taborsky had reached a state of complete relaxation in which he felt unburdened by his life’s troubles for the first time in recent memory, medical technicians wrenched him back into consciousness with a pair of defibrillator pads.”

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